‘I am forever grateful for him’

On June 18, 2015, a special prayer intention entered Nicole Bettini’s heart: to pray a daily “Memorare” for then-Father Donald DeGrood, who was her confessor.

The Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis was facing significant challenges — bankruptcy, two bishops’ resignations and criminal charges alleging it failed to protect children from clergy sexual abuse — and then-Father DeGrood had been asked to make his part-time role as Vicar of Clergy full-time.

As his role expanded, a priest Bettini knew made the comment that Father DeGrood would one day be a bishop. She felt the Lord say to her, “Pray for him. Pray (for) all that I’m asking of him now and in the future. I need holy bishops.”

A consecrated virgin in the archdiocese, Bettini prayed that “Memorare” faithfully, never forgetting the part about him being prepared to be a bishop. She didn’t tell him, however, until after Pope Francis made the appointment.

“He’s just a wonderful spiritual father,” said Bettini, 42, emotion evident in her voice.

Bettini was among an estimated 950 people who attended Bishop DeGrood’s episcopal ordination and installation as the ninth bishop of Sioux Falls Feb. 13. Of the attendees from the archdiocese, many know the bishop from his time as pastor of their parishes in Forest Lake, St. Paul and Savage, or from his time ministering at St. John Vianney College Seminary in St. Paul.

Brian Steehler, 38, is among the latter. He and his wife, Laurie, 32, were among several families with young children at the Mass. Their oldest is 2-year-old Donovan, named in honor of Bishop DeGrood.

Laurie said they were dating when Brian told her he wanted to name his first son after then-Father DeGrood. Brian had spent two years at the seminary, and now-Bishop DeGrood was his spiritual director his final year. With Father DeGrood’s help, Brian discerned he wasn’t called to priesthood, but he was called to a deeper conversion of heart.

“If it wasn’t for his ministry, I would have been a Catholic, but I wouldn’t have been a tenth of the Catholic that I am today,” said Brian, a parishioner of St. Mark in St. Paul. “In that sense, I owe him what my life has become.”

So, when he and Laurie had their first child, a son, they named him Donovan in Bishop DeGrood’s honor. The 2-year-old met his namesake for the first time the day of the ordination. The Steehlers traveled from their home in St. Paul to Sioux Falls for the liturgy, bringing with them Donovan and his 11-month-old sister, Annemarie.

Also there was Ben Hoffman, who, like Brian, was among the people Bishop DeGrood called Dec. 12 to share the news of his appointment. With him was his wife and son, his mother, Joy Hoffman, and his three younger sisters. Bishop DeGrood selected Ben, Joy and Ben’s sisters to join some family members and the diocese’s cultural representatives to carry up the gifts before the eucharistic prayer.

The role was an honor for Ben, who credits Bishop DeGrood with having an important role in helping him and his family heal from clergy sexual abuse they suffered at Blessed Sacrament in St. Paul.

“I know how much he means to me, so to see him ask him to do things like that shows that he loves me more than I ever thought,” he said.

Hoffman, 26, was also among speakers who shared about Bishop DeGrood during a dinner event the evening before the ordination. He said he focused on a bishop’s role as a shepherd.

“When he found me, I was a very, very lost sheep, and the journey he took me on and the mentorship, and him always pushing me and getting (me) outside my comfort zone and everything he did for me is truly why I’m here today, why I’m Catholic,” said Hoffman, a parishioner of Transfiguration in Oakdale.

He laughed and added: “I made a nerdy Lord of the Rings reference, with him being Gandalf and me being Bilbo and him just bringing me back to the Shire, just bringing me back home. It was very unexpected, and I am forever grateful for him.”

Pro Ecclesia Sancta Sister Emy Ychikawa attended with other sisters from her community, including Sister Eileen Leon, who proclaimed the second reading. Bishop DeGrood invited them to serve at St. John the Baptist in Savage about a year and a half ago.

“He’s an amazing pastor. He has a heart for God’s people, and you can tell he’s a man of prayer, and that’s always been a great witness to us — everything that he does for God’s people flows from his love for the Lord,” she said. “That always comes with joy ­— he’s a very joyful person. We’re very grateful for his witness.”

At the ordination Mass, Sister Emy said she felt “God’s presence working in our humanity, choosing us as instruments of his grace.”

And from that grace, she said, God’s power flows to a ministry she knows will be fruitful. “You can tell it comes from the Holy Spirit who gives that grace through the sacrament,” she said. “You could tell Bishop (DeGrood) was so humbled.”

Maria Santos attended the Mass with three of her children, Bolanle, Babs and Bolade, all in their 20s. The Santos were Bishop DeGrood’s parishioners at St. John the Baptist, and they livestreamed much of the Mass from their phone for their sister Bolaji, who watched from Minnesota while at home with her young children.

“He’s our friend,” Maria said. “He was like family to us.”

“He was really big on including everyone and just being really welcoming,” added Bolanle, 26. “He came for dinner a few times and just spent time with our family. … We were honored that he invited us. … It was amazing to see him being recognized about how great he is.”

“That man loves Jesus,” Maria said. “I always think of him as a saint — a living saint.”