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Saint Paul
Tuesday, April 16, 2024

The shirt box

Alyssa Bormes

Treasures are funny. So are those little boxes that we keep them in. Usually, when someone finds our treasure chests, the “treasure” part might not be immediately recognizable. I have an old shirt box with scraps of paper, and it is full of gems — that is, they are gems to me: written gems.

Here are a few of them: “Apples, cider, cheese and fudge — the four food groups.” “It was a windy night for a bowl of chili.” “It’s better to drop bad habits than a laptop.” “Next time I’ll bring my guitar.” “It was a funny day in the sacristy.” “J.M.J. is the monogram I have chosen for my life.”

You might wonder why I save these; they seem like nothing. Except that they are absolutely not nothing when writer’s block visits. It’s then that I go to the shelf in the garage, pull out the worn shirt-box-turned-treasure-chest, and start digging around. The scraps of paper are like Burpee seeds in the spring; something is bound to take root.

I keep running into the “four food groups” one, and it cracks me up every time, yet I’ve never written about it. I’ve given a try or two to the J.M.J. — Jesus, Mary and Joseph — is the monogram I have chosen for my life. It’s been just a couple emails, but no serious attempt for that one, either.

But there is one scrap that frightens me a bit.

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Each time I see it, my eyes fill with tears. Once, someone was here when I was digging through the box, and she asked me to read aloud what the scraps said. When I got to it, I choked up as usual. She asked me, why does that make you cry? “I don’t know.”  She persisted: What does it mean? More distantly this time, “I don’t know.”

And so I just keep putting it back in the box.

Well, today, I found it again. It said the same thing as it has for years: “God calls me ’Lyssa.” It feels so ridiculous to be wiping tears again. So, let’s finally get at it.

’Lyssa is a name that only my family uses for me. Have I heard God call me it? No. Have I felt him say it? Not exactly. But, the other day at confession, I experienced the consolation of being super aware of having been forgiven. The priest said that I am as new as I was at baptism, and his words had that ungraspable feeling to it, until I saw the scrap of paper again.

It all ties in with this Sunday’s Gospel reading, the Prodigal Son. Only, I am the prodigal daughter, and each time I return, God runs to me and calls me ’Lyssa. It’s a name only my family uses, and he’s my Father. And now I know, when he calls me ’Lyssa, I am home, very mercifully home.

Bormes, a member of Holy Family in St. Louis Park, is the author of the book “The Catechism of Hockey.”

 


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