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Friday, April 19, 2024

Marriage advice: Make time for each other, especially at Christmas

Nick Bramhill
A couple takes a selfie in 2015 in front of the Oxford Street Christmas Lights moments after they switched on in London. People who work with married couples have urged them to make time for each other, especially during the often-stressful Christmas season. CNS

People who work with married couples have urged them to make time for each other, especially during the often-stressful Christmas season.

Several groups said statistics show what seems innocent — spending less time together — increasingly is leading to breakups in relationships.

Father Sean Healy, a Cork-born priest who is also co-founder of the think-tank Social Justice Ireland, urged couples to prioritize each other and their families over the Christmas holiday period.

“The changing world of work has brought higher expectations of people’s time, and this is very different to what the situation was 30 or 40 years ago. Back then, people had jobs for life, and most households had someone working. Now all that is gone, and what we have are … increased work pressures, with an expectation in many cases that workers will be available 24/7.

“All of this is putting huge pressure on the time couples have to spend with each other and their children. It’s very bad for both the family life and for the health of a relationship. So, I would urge couples to make an extra effort to spend time with each other over Christmas,” he said.

Tony Moore, a counselor with Relationships Ireland, which offers counseling for those facing relationship breakdowns, said people have false perceptions about the holidays.

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“If things aren’t going well in your relationship, Christmas is an extremely difficult period,” Moore said. “There’s this perception that everyone else out there is having a wonderful time, which is rarely the case in most households. But for couples who are having problems, the sense that they are missing out can make the situation unbearable.”

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