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Small children at Mass? We need more of them |
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By Joe Towalski
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Monday, 09 August 2010 |
A toddler to my left. A toddler and baby to my right. And a toddler and baby in the pew in front of me.
 Editorial
Joe Towalski
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That was the seating arrangement last Sunday as I sat in the back pew during the late-morning Mass at the parish I attend. The parents came armed and ready for the 60-plus-minute Mass with diaper bags, picture books and baggies of cereal.
I don’t think we reached the first reading, however, before one of the
toddlers began to fuss a little. Not long afterward, he and his parents
were headed for the church’s gathering space, where the little guy
presumably had a little more room to roam without the threat of
disturbing anyone.
Not much later, another of the families headed in the same direction.
The third family stuck it out until the end, although the young mom left
her seat for a while to entertain her baby in the walkway area behind
me.
Been there
I sympathized with these parents because I remember what it was like to
bring my children to church when they were small: They fidget, they
talk, they drop things and, worst of all, they sometimes get upset and
start to cry. If the children have special needs, there are additional
challenges. As a parent, you worry that every sound and move your kids
make is annoying the people around you — and maybe even your pastor at
the altar.
Now that my children are older, I’ve become one of those people that
parents with babies and toddlers worry about disturbing. If you’re one
of those parents, here’s my message to you: “Don’t worry so much. Short
of having a full-fledged meltdown, your children aren’t causing as much
of a ruckus as you think. I’m happy, like most of the other worshippers
around you, to see you in church and making the effort — not always an
easy one — to raise your children in the faith. We made that commitment
with our kids, too, and we’re here to support you as well. Our church
needs you.”
I’m lucky to be in a parish with a healthy population of young parents
and young adults in general, but that isn’t the case in many other
places. Many young adults, formed in a culture that’s rooted in
individualism and relativism, aren’t interested in coming to church
regularly or getting involved in parish life. They may come to the
church for sacraments like weddings and baptisms, but they don’t come
back. They aren’t connected to a parish home.
That’s why outreach and hospitality are so important when it comes to
young adults. Young parents with small children are making the decision
to stay involved and pass on the gift of their faith. We should be doing
everything we can to encourage them to keep coming back. That starts
with creating a welcoming atmosphere.
An important invitation
The pastor at my church has on more than one occasion, after hearing a
young child pipe up, thanked parents at the end of Mass for bringing
their kids.
A colleague of mine — a father of a young parent — recently told me
about an older couple who reassured his daughter and son-in-law, who
have young children themselves, that the whole crew is always welcome at
church. In fact, the couple invited the family to sit in the pew
directly in front of them if they were worried the children might bother
other worshippers.
If I have the opportunity again, I will offer some reassurance to the
parents around me. I’ll thank them for bringing their children to
church. And, maybe I’ll invite them to sit by me the next Sunday if they
are worried their kids might bother other folks in the pews.
These parents — and their small children — are just as much an integral
part of the church as we are. Let’s make them feel like the important
members of our congregations that they are.
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